morning. I'm waiting for a couple of friends to show up here really quick so I appreciate you being here CJ. I'm gonna play a song here. What am I? A song of the internet. This is the Black Pumas. Enjoy while we wait for my friends to show up. We just started this space.
I walk up to the morning sky
♪ I'm gonna move to slag of the past ♪ ♪ When they get it, fall to the ground ♪ ♪ Shitty's butt down ♪ ♪ To the round, round, round, round ♪ ♪ 'Til I'm clean ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ And the world for I be shaded by the trees ♪ ♪ By a little green foot by the mine ♪ ♪ We lit it down, down, down, in the snow ♪ ♪ We're going my feet ♪
♪ I'm a sister in my brother's team ♪ ♪ I'm a baby girl ♪
♪ She's my baby ♪ ♪ I'm so pleased ♪ ♪ I'm so pleased ♪ ♪ She's my baby ♪ ♪ I'm so happy ♪ ♪ I'm just a single brother ♪ ♪ She's my baby ♪ ♪ I'm so happy ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪#
♪ And come for us, we've been a game and I'm a world and I'm playing on ♪ ♪ With all my big, big furthers, this man ♪ ♪ All my big, big furthers, I got more ♪ ♪ I'm a CC in my brother ♪
I could pay for me I could pay to save my baby
♪ 'Cause the night's broad, the hours we see ♪ ♪ O'er the world of all the things we've got ♪ ♪ The hours we've got ♪ ♪ The days we've seen ♪ ♪ The hours we've seen ♪
♪ It blues birds fly ♪ ♪ And great clouds ♪ ♪ O white balls of blue skies ♪ ♪ They come fly ♪ ♪ Feel all red ♪ ♪ Somebody help me feel all right ♪ ♪ Now we go ♪ ♪ Blue, blue, blue, blue ♪
♪ I'm just a pain, a hum comfort ♪ ♪ It's me but again and I'm old ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh my baby, oh my baby ♪ ♪ Oh my sister's in a brand new city ♪ ♪ That no better than my baby, oh my baby ♪
♪ To the day of my day for you ♪ ♪ I'm like a sea of love ♪ ♪ And I'm not alone ♪ ♪ And I'm not just a sea of love ♪ ♪ I'm not alone ♪ ♪ And I'm not alone ♪
♪ Oh my favorite color ♪ (audience laughing)
Fantastic fantastic man. I love that son. I love it so much So much such a powerful son Anyway, good morning. Good morning CJ. Thank you for joining me here
I'm supposed to have two more people joining me shortly and we are supposed to be discussing the arts of inquiry this morning, the wonderful world of questions.
And yeah, and this is not so much space. I think you've joined us before, CJ. I've seen you around before, and I think. And you are more than welcome if you would like to come up and chat with me.
just send up a request. I don't send out, I don't send out invites anymore because it scares a lot of people off. So, everyone knows. Yeah, but we're wanting to talk about the art of good questions and the really the point of the space as you know is just to help each other get better. It was really
We're bringing on brother Baramie who you've also probably heard around. He comes up as a speaker a lot. He's an awful steward and we are bringing him on as a co-host. The Jeremy is well known for being great at asking awesome questions and
in conversations and it's actually to be quite honest when Jeremy is really getting into a conversation he's enjoying you can see his face light up and it is just him asking questions. So I was kind of hoping that he would be here with us this morning but I know
that there was World Pizza Day yesterday and a lot of our students and a lot of our ambassadors went out to party because Pizza Dow was having pizza parties everywhere from we had ambassadors in Miami all the way from Miami
to several spots in California last night. So I know that our peeps were up late, probably doing a little bit of partying, so we will have plenty of grace for them this morning. Yeah, I thought about going to the Denver Pizza Dow Party last night, but
as you might be able to tell by my voice and feel a little bit under the weather. So I think it's just a little bit of a head cold but I'm just going to isolate myself around anyone except for my poor wife who is stuck with me in our little tiny apartment and yeah so
I missed the pizza party last night, but it looked like a fun time. So questions, questions. I looked up a good quote. Eileen can be more was the name of the person and I actually don't know
this is, I just found this quote looking up things for this space. But she says that the right question at the right time can change the course of a life, can still a turbulent mind, turbulent mind, excuse me, or heal emotional pain.
The right question at the right time can change the course of a life, can still a turbulent mind or heal.
emotional pain. Eileen can't even more. Seems like a pretty fantastic quote to me so much so that when I messed it up the first time she deserved
for me to say it again. Yeah, in the world of communication, asking good questions is just like, it's a skill that you just,
I just try to boot, boot, boot, whatever thing. What was that? Did somebody come and go already? Well, well, I got to read the stuff. So if I miss somebody, I miss something, whatever.
Yeah, so from professional settings, I mean even doctors and lawyers
The power of a well-timed and well-structured question can just change the dynamic of the conversation, can keep out people out of jail, which means the decisions. And I think it can even build stronger relationships.
Yeah, so let's start there. We started with building stronger relationships because sometimes in our space we start kind of start with the business side and go to the spiritual side. But right now I want to start with the relational side and kind of go more towards a business side as we go.
Because I think it's important because really when we have most of our conversations in our most natural state, it's when we're in personal and private conversations.
It's, I don't think a lot of people take the time to
examine their conversations when they're in conversations with people they really really relate to well or they feel
I guess deeply connected with. There is a tendency for people to
Kind of, I guess, get a little bit self-absorbed and self-focused when talking to their most close relationships. And you'll find a lot of times in your relationships that wherever you're falling short in your own life,
The relationships that you're closest to are almost always going to be the ones that take the front of the abuse. Whether that abuse is intentional or not. So if I'm having a bad day for no reason but a bad day's sake, which happens
to all of us. I'm probably going to snap at my wife and I'm probably going to over an apology. If I get up and I'm in a grumpy mood around the people that I, you know, my friends while we're going to work on a project,
project. I did a project this weekend where I wouldn't help a friend do something on this range. It was a big project, so there were 10 or 15 people there, at least, probably 20 people there. On the way, I've been doing this for years and years and years, and a lot of times
the way that cowboys treat each other is pretty harsh, you know. And a lot of times there's a lot of yelling back and forth, "Hey, do that, hey, do this, hey, do that." And, you know, I helped with this exact same project last year because it's something that the cattle and it happens on a yearly basis. And I remembered one
time last year where I was kind of abrasive towards somebody. And I thought about the way on my way this time I was kind of thinking about it and I was like, man, I set the tone for that kid. You know, if he was a young kid, he didn't know what he was doing. And I got just a little bit abrasive towards him. And I
I thought to myself this time, "I'm like, man, I could have made it fun for him instead of being quite as abrasive. I could have done a better job there." Just taking the time to think about the relationships that we just take too much with. We just have a little
it too much freedom in the way that we treat these people. And those people are support system. So I think that a lot of times, well not only that, you can affirm this or deny this that you're at your own peril. But think about like if you're really trying
to work on your life. If you're really trying to have an impact on your own life and do things better, the way to test that is to go hang out and be around the people. Good morning, good morning. The way to test that is to to go hang around the
people you grew up with, right? Because all of a sudden you get supernatural and all of a sudden your bad habits start to like peak themselves out, you know? Like I'd spend, I recognized this in my early 20s, I'd spend so much time just trying to better myself in certain ways and I
I could tell that some of the habits, the emotional habits and things that I'd done growing up, they would just weren't serving me anymore. I grew up in a relatively per-moilless house, if you will. The environment was not one for peace.
And I was trying to move away from that in my 20s and I'd still end today to be honest. But every time I'd go back home, every time I'd get around my parents and my brothers and even my sister, I'd notice that my
have it, so it starts to sneak back. So if you want to test yourself, I think these are the relationships where you go to really check to see if you're being effective. And not only that, but if I'm trying to, you know, we're just barely diving into the topic of question right now.
But if I want to get better at questions, to me, honestly, that's where it's going to make the most impact and make the most difference for me. If I can go and ask my wife better questions to make her feel better about our relationship or better communicate
me about what she wants for me or what she wants in the future. Or if I can ask my sister a question, next time she's writing to me to make it impactful for her in a way that she can, I don't know, maybe
see the next step with her job, you know, like the the and I guess this is the big part about questions when you first get into it quickly figure out is a question is just part of a conversation that helps you
get the other person to explain more. Earlier I mentioned doctors and lawyers, right? And I think that's fun to use these two types of inquisitors, if you will. First of all, because
Both a lawyer's job and a doctor's job is oftentimes focused around questions. Doctors' questions are diagnostic. They are diagnostic architects. They start by you coming in and telling them
a basic issue and then through a series of questions, they play 20 questions and they try and narrow down the highest likelihood of what that issue is.
If you've been to a lot of doctors or been to a lot of good morning to, if you've been to a lot of emergency rooms, you'll know that the best doctors are really good at asking questions. And also, I've also found that some great doctors are
great at not stopping asking questions when they think that they've done something. They'll continue to be inquisitive even after they're pretty sure they've found that issue.
And I've had experiences both on good sides and on bad sides of that, you know, like, you know, I broke my back once and the doctors asked me how I was doing and I told them all of the things and they said according to basic things I was doing better than I should be doing.
They basically cancelled all of my what's it called when you follow the aftercare stuff. Yeah, all the follow up stuff right the oh the rehab they cancelled all the rest of my rehab sessions so I got like two rehab sessions for
for breaking my back because I was doing so much better. And I think they were trying to save the state money because the state was covering the accident, whatever, blah, blah, blah. But like I lived in back pain for like eight years after that until I finally went and I actually started dancing professionally.
with background people thought I was nuts. But I learned how to keep my back straight. I learned how to hold my muscles and all of a sudden I learned that that doctor just didn't ask enough questions right. He was like oh we're good. We figured out the issue. You're doing good enough I guess.
And he stopped asking questions and that affected me for years, you know. So really horribly affected me, I might add. But yeah, so in that sense, you know, it's important to keep asking questions. And then lawyers
Lawyers are a different kind of question, right? Sometimes they can get the enough end of something but
And I guess there's another different element between a lawyer can be an interrogator, so an interrogative question, or they can be a, what's the other word I'm looking for?
persuasive, right? So basically there's a couple types of questions that a lawyer asks. And I love, I know it's really weird, but I love watching legal
Like literal entire interrogations and legal stuff online. It's one of the dorky things I do among many. But a lawyer will oftentimes ask
with the knowledge that if you answer the very simple and seemingly easy question up front, what it does is when they go to ask you the more complex question in the back end, it forces you to stick towards the parameters that
you said by answering the questions in the beginning. It's very tricky and I'm not saying that this is necessarily one that I mean you can do it in a normal conversation but first of all it takes knowing where you're leading the conversation. It takes having a purpose to lead a conversation if we're sitting here talking about
like relational conversations like I was talking about a second ago. Well, okay, I guess there could be reasons for it, but this is, I'm going to say, more of a better set in a professional setting for the most part.
Yeah, so I watched an interrogation, a lawyer, a civil rights lawyer interrogating a cop the other day. And yes, simple basic questions right up front and the cop answered them with the normal difficulty go. You see him answer questions. And
The cop didn't know that there was a video of what happened and then later on two seconds later the guy pulls out and he's like, okay, so you say this never happened. Well, here's the video. Now you said that this was illegal, right? Well, yeah. Oh, and in this video we see you doing what?
So just fantastic. So yeah, you can ask questions to get the truth out of people. Once again, this is just more idealizing on the theory of questions than me trying to give you like, oh, you should
try and use this. Because once again, that, if you're trying to use a question like that in a personal relationship, that person's probably going to offend or feel like you're manipulating them and get offended because
Like unless it's a trick to like guess, oh did I just lose everybody? No, no, no you're good. Okay, my opalous thing just loves so if I lose everybody that's what's going on.
I am so confused. Okay, I'm gonna keep talking for a minute. Well, how are you doing this morning, bro? I'm good, man. I'm on some medicine this morning. Yeah, no, I'm good. Getting back in.
You know messed up sleep schedules, but feeling really good Yeah, I love this conversation you're having about questions. I've been thinking talking about like just asking good questions for a long time You know especially like in business