oh he's your man he's your man so like we'll do a beginning uh once we get some people in here
we go here we go Finn the band should be in soon i've got the beginning ready but let's uh let's
bring your man in of course shall go Finn date up at this time of the day oh i've got a good beginning
oh what's up you're pretty quiet there i guess it's early well i know it's fucking early anyway
it's fucking like what five o'clock five p.m dude but you got snails you got fucking snails yeah
just just like i got around oh you Gucci man i'll go where i'll go an intro uh big bands normally
always a couple of minutes late once he yeah sends the kid kitty off the school on the bus
well those are a fucking bad school yeah big bands where are you darling come on we need the
queen of the room oh he's Kyle interesting Kyle likes a bit of the jam hole he also uh is obviously
involved in Tim B which recently went down so we can get to that fucking convoy within time
uh you can grab a mic if you want Kyle matey it's fucking entirely up to you but uh we're just about
to do an intro bro how you doing Kyle you all right mate let's do a little quick warm up before
we kick off the show properly for the podcast wondering really fantastic it's really nice to
see you fine gentlemen today this evening mate are you making blocks again are you i mean we'll
get to that later but are you making blocks again are you all Gucci back in the hood or
are you good and old old swanie bro old swanie so what what well you can tell me a bit later
like but was it was it a big drama or quite easy to fix it patch a patch issue i told you it was
going to be a patch right oh did you say a patch or a patchy a patch oh all right okay okay okay okay
how did he say depeche depeche mode depeche mode fin fin fin shawny's fucking age right guys
we've got we've got people in get your mics muted you fucking pleb comes now without
further ado all i'm gonna say is good morning
rock fm x the jam hall episode eight two nine it's wednesday march the fourth and 20th
can you believe cue fucking two air q1s nearly finished and i mean it's no longer good but
we'll get there all that shit later and i just want to say a big shout out uh daddy dekha is in
the fucking house he's home alone this week he's on all of daddy's you he's buying snails he's doing
shit and we're bringing the jam hall once we're being we're in ages we've been talking about
this shit for fucking ages right bro
hello welcome to the jam hall today's wednesday march 20th 2000 and 24 and my name's matt
and that's bj but no it's not bj because she's gone she abandoned us she went out for a carton
of sigs and a gallon of milk and hasn't come back since at least that's what i told the kiddo
i was like i don't know how well behaved can you be maybe mama just ain't coming back
maybe this is what life is going to be like mac and cheese and ramen noodles and s car goats
and and pet snails pet giant snails doesn't get better yeah we go through we go through our phases
and uh i forget what she was watching but it wasn't even turbo we did watch turbo after that but
uh we just started watching these snail videos and slugs and then we found some of these like
african snails get to be the size of like house cats so then we were like whoa can you actually
get these as pets and uh now i have a terrarium and i uh i have some free range snails here
and uh i'm a snail farmer now and i'll tell you free range there's nothing it tastes better
than the fucking factory bread ones or what yes yes i only feed my snails the finest brains
and it no it is interesting though there's something very meditative and zen about
watching a creature whose life is so slowed down and kind of like the definition of living in the
moment and then having that contrast of like crypto where everything is just like a hundred
miles an hour to zero like it's it's super calming and i think it's what i needed we all need a snail
arium with some snails in it that we can just watch and just chill the fuck out you know bro that
fucking mickey flanigan sketch i don't know if you watched it i've said you're like probably three
times or something but like where he's like i know why the friends eat fucking snails it's
the only thing that can fucking catch oh mr mr look at this one he is getting away mr
here coming gold i wish you strive to be so funny and have such epic comedic timing i mean
he's great mickey flanigan i've gotta say he's one of my favorites but when he talks about
them leaving the stones in the olives on his pizza he gets his pizza at the end of the trip you know
and he's like oh we're starving you know he's been riding around France on his mountain bike
and i was racing bike whatever it is and then he's like he gets a pizza on the last night you
know he's done and he bites in the pizza and they've left the stones in the olives and he's
like you dirty fucking horse eating cunt oh boys that's lethal ouchies so uh just real quick for
people listening to this on the jamhole feed uh i don't know if we mentioned it on episode 828
but uh bj's pops is in hospice and he uh he had like months to live but i guess it's gotten
worse she was supposed to go down in april and like spend some time with him and shit but then uh
yeah she got a call that was like uh he might just have weeks maybe days instead of months so
she had to fast forward that trip and she's down there now i'm holding it down at the home front
and uh yeah wow bro i didn't know yeah i didn't know yeah i didn't know
well you know i didn't either because you would think of you would think the foster kid wouldn't
really give a shit about her dad you know but no i i get it i totally get it uh it's cool that they
actually had a chance to reconnect i guess uh i don't know i'll let her speak for herself when
she gets back obviously but yeah it was kind of crazy because i was like wait didn't you like say
you were a fucking foster kid like fuck you are you just trying to get like a free vacay
like if you want to just go go bitch like i ain't you know i'm not holding you back or nothing
but yeah so i know hopefully uh hopefully everything's going well maybe she went
you know how like conniving bitches be sometimes she probably just went to like go pull that
plug herself oh that was pretty tough at that point i wouldn't expect anything less from you
i mean i was about to give like condolences and you know like i'm surprised that bitch ain't gonna
pull the plug herself yeah no we'll see what kind of inheritance she comes back with and
that'll determine the size of the condolences we have so you know a lot of people don't like
talk about death and they're like think it's like quite negative and shit like that but i'm
gonna be very honest with you like i've been through like this whole experience like i've been
through uh the last rights experience or opinion do you know about the last i didn't even until
you've been through it you probably don't know about the last rights but it's mental do you
know about this shit am i i don't know about that i'm i'm a huge fan of katelyn daugherty and the
the good death what's it called the church uh or not church excuse me the the future uh the
the good death order of the good death that's what it's called if you go to order of the
good death.com uh there's a lot of good info there but she she has a lot of like really good
content about death and and dying and and having it be a positive thing and actually it's kind of
funny i was watching i was going back and watching the old curb your enthusiasm episodes
fucking larry david's my spirit animal and there was an episode where one of his friends was doing
a living funeral and so like all of his friends and shit are are dressed up to the nines in their
fucking funeral gear and dude is upstairs laying on the bed with his wife watching through
the cameras he set up watching what everyone's saying about him like doing the funeral because
he's like what what's the the funeral is for for the for the dead no like i wanna i want to hear
you guys say like good shit about me like i don't want to just be dead and not know what was said
about me so uh i i kind of like vibe with that idea i think having a living funeral uh and then
just burying me in my mushroom suit with my birthday suit and call it call it good you know
dude the last rites is a surreal experience right it's one of the maddest things you'll ever go
through so basically if you're a catholic yeah roman catholic basically what i know lutheran
lutheran here bud i know me too mate but you basically they i look look out hey you can't
fucking do your plan what you're an atheist i'm i'm a i'm a no i'm a i'm a church of the flying
spaghetti monster ordained priest so so i don't want to get into it too much but if you want
someone to marry you i got you i'm catholic born but atheist like raised and by that i mean like
my father's an atheist atheist but my mother comes from a hardcore roman catholic family i mean like
i say my grandma had uh nine brothers and sisters there was ten of them off irish you know my
condolences to you my condolences they don't so much as in v8 as in fest you know what i mean
they don't so much as in v8 as in fest but like bro yeah that's just a joke
we were all around if you're catholic right like even though maybe data atheist my brother's quite
catholic but i'm not i don't give a fuck man i'm buddhist well i lean on buddhism as a way of like
a guidance in my life you know principles but like dude we did this last right when we grandma
man i mean the after story is the funny bit it's the mad bit the crazy bit but like what it is and
i didn't know this until the time you you get together you know and you all put your hands
together right the family around the body this person's on the thing about a crooked and i mean
the doctors are like eight seconds you're talking about you know weeks months whatever this is like
seconds and they're like hey it's good this is in it's over you've signed a dnr do not resuscitate
and but with the last ride she's all put your hands together like uh you know the palm over
the top of like other hands you're all put hands together over the top of the body and what you
do is and you all just like hold the pillow down and just smother them together
oh probably this is it let's go boy that that that would be the easy option wouldn't it given
circumstances but bro you actually tell a person to fucking go you tell a person it's all right
to like leave this earth at all right i was like i was in the middle thing is this was happening
me and my brother were drunk as fuck because it was the sunland new castle derby day at sunland
stadium the biggest day of the year would all been out since like fucking 10 a.m we were so
fucking hammered broke and the car on the way at the hospital as for some reason because we were
stressed because she was dying and we've got like the last rights call me and him started fighting
in the car his girlfriend's driving with his wife right now his mother was charged she was driving
on the road and me and him started arguing through just started punching each other in the car then
we were like what are we doing dude we had a court with this it was mad and in the middle of
this last rights listen to this bro this is no fucking shit in the middle of the last rights
we thought this was it was goodbye the priest is there the whole shebang all the family got you
she just fucking sat up and went gives a drink of water that's exactly what she said gives a drink
of water give me i know you'll have get get yourself die already so bro listen to this this
is mad this is how you can go back to like the year you can see the derby it was halloween
right this is the thing about the grandma her death she uh she got admitted to the hospital
from the care home like you're not gonna on halloween that's when we give her the last rights
she died on bonfire night 5th of november and then we buried her on remembrance day the 11th
of november it's kind of mad it was like i get like it's kind of like the time of year where i'm
like a little bit like i don't know quiet but dude we talk about it to this day she just sat
up in the middle of the last rights and went gives a drink of water like some and then lived for like
five days we were just like this is not right that's that's pretty pretty fucking epic dude
93 93 no not 93 though bro 93 that's a good run i mean i'd be happy with fucking 60
you know 69 for the memes call it good i mean how much time do you really need you know
oh you know what she got though in the end right at the end right at the pinnacle she got to get
elephant titus like what are the legs do you know what i'm talking about oh yeah fuck that shit
give me give me all all the delighted all the more i mean just like open up the pharmacy and
let me play you know i'm not trying to fucking be the elephant titus man fuck that shit
i kind of find it weird though that people are like i don't know scared or don't talk about it
or it's like oh you've got the bad vibe or like we're all gonna die at the end of the day
it's just like you know what life do you live in between like people are like super superstitious
about that kind of shit and it is one of life's great unanswered questions you know i think the
movie flatliners always intrigued me because it was like what if you could you know have
somebody kill you and then bring you back and see like what what was over there like was it really
fucking heaven with a bunch of fags all singing at chair like what what was going on you know dude
what about the cast in that movie that was an all that was like julian roberts kiefer subberlin julian
roberts dude that was like after lost boys that was like his next big like movie wasn't it was julia's
like first like bam she was a superstar for that movie that was insane flatliners i love that shit
oh you know it's a trip man i started watching i i didn't realize kerb had been on for like over
20 fucking years and it's a crazy 20 years man you look at the most recent season and look at like
how old richard lewis looks like right before he died and how old larry david is and ted dancing
and shit and then you go back to like season one and they're all fucking like spring chickens and
shit like hair not all like fake colored and shit like it's it man time was not nice to some of
those cats and the best thing about that shit my girl tracy almond was in that shit the last
amazing tracy almond tracy almond tracy almond's lover tracy almond was me dad's crush me father's
crucifer like god knows she was my crush when i was a kid but okay so you know how you always
americanized like i was shows and like you know shameless the office there's that you always
americanize shit right so basically kerb your enthusiasm there was never like a kind of like
british alternative right but like we had our own shit going on where because this is like pre you
taught in 20 years right pre netflix it's pretty all that was like they didn't have like cell phones
and shit at the beginning like he's on his big old car phone it's kind of funny to watch how
everything kind of changed just through the lens of that show and like what they show as far as
like the tech for the day and everything it's pretty interesting so so the reason i've never ever
watched it or whatever got into it or never been like a big larry dave and fun or whatever right
is because yes it was on like jews no it was on it's the jew thing okay i bought three clowns
with you know i bought three clowns with jew noses i don't even know how you did wait jew knows
like you know jew no no jew noses man jew jew no oh fuck you fuck yes hey where's kyle get kyle in
on the convoy just sitting back thinking what are these two daft cunts thought about what uh
mate i've got nothing against jewish people i mean i've heard the greedy but yeah isn't everyone
uh i don't know what to say about the front but mate i love the way he owns it in that show like
it's so fucking perfect that's definitely him and whistlin diesel are probably my two like
media celebrity spirit animals if i had to pick so if i was watching anything out of america back in
the day it was like say shit like the sopranos etc etc right that was downloading on torrents
obviously with on demand but it's the different these days there is no fucking but but like i've
never are you telling me i should go back the beginning and i should enhance my life with
kirby enthusiasm is that all you're saying i'm just saying if you got some time to kill
like you could you could find worse so to watch i was just randomly on that kick and then i
finished the the recent went back and i was like holy fuck it's a very jarring transition going from
2023 to 2000 you know like it's such a crazy chunk of time in our fucking history and then just
to watch it through the eyes of some old curmudgeon fuck and just the actors that are on that show
like there there's so many classes i don't know it's fucking really i'll tell you what i'll tell
you what do you know what's mad this is a good color not a segue but it's it's related
so i can tell you the american shows that i grew up on and by growing up i'm talking five six seven
eight nine years old i'm talking mop and mindy i'm talking mosh right i'm talking all the classic
i got you let's say by the belt was yours later i mean well the massive thing the thing is obviously
mass was made like so mass was what my dad watched but in like the late 70s like early 80s
and then like you got like you know what i mean so like bro but i bet you can't say to me or this uk
program this uk program like like you know what i'm talking about you know like black books and
stuff i mean what nothing the syndication i don't think went both ways like that how much you guys
have how much you've been saying a mash i want your mash have you watched the original i never
really liked that i don't know i never really got into that shit when i was a kid when i was
a kid we my my grandparents lived in woodland hills and they would always take us to malibu beach
and my grandfather every single time we'd go by he'd be like you see those you see those are the
mountains that they fill national i was like all right cool grandpa and i just i wasn't like i'm way
into that shit now i guess but when i was a kid when that stuff was coming out that wasn't really
my vibe i guess bro you know you know my favorite program of the week when i was like
six seven was the fall guy oh holy fuck that fall guy i don't think i don't think i want something
what the fall guy you must know the fall guy right please tell me well this this justin we
got some breaking news joe's nuts are contaminated joe's nuts are contaminated potential salmonella
contamination joe wash your nuts joe wash your fucking nuts what are you talking about what are you
talking about watching nuts uh if you shop it if you shop at trader joe's watch out on those nuts
because you get salmonella if you're in wow it's a lot of states anybody anybody with salmonella
as well any man manila you fuck around with them chicken heads you will catch salmonella anyone
with salmonella is not fucking tweeting because they're in the worst fucking period of their
fucking life like if they don't die even if they survive you're going to be fucking wrecked
for a fucking very long time if you ever recover i just saw that in the news feed i i didn't know
joe's joe's nuts were so dangerous uh if you don't know
alabama arkansas arizona california colorado idaho kansas liziana no we know do we know
what degree wait a minute do we know what like dude there are degrees of salmonella you know
um oh yeah these are these are fucked that's nowhere oh my salmonella is an organism which
can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children frail or elderly people and people
with weird shriveled nuts just so do find find the article find the article on the cruise ship
that got hit with salmonella ships are fucking no no it was like it was weird there was salmonella
in like the lettuce or something and like 4 000 people go fucking salmonella dude the whole
i'll pack my own sandwiches before i fucking eat that shit have you heard about when people
were shitting on the deck and that's enough people are like outside dude like zombies walking
around because the plumbing the plumbing fucking broke because of the like amount of shit that
was going on in the plumbing and they're like oh broad terrific this entire story is that's
raw that's raw dog like imagine trying to just hang your ass over the side of a fucking
cruise ship just to take a shit and fucking seagulls and fucking oh fuck that fuck that dude did i
ever tell you about when we were on the amsterdam trip coming back or not uh when the bird lost
our fingers or not no tell me tell me i'm gonna smoke so i won't be in front of my computer so
tell me tell me a story papa so like obviously i've been amsterdam 11 times right i've only ever
flew once so i've been on the boat 10 times right amsterdam is closer to my home city where
i was born and grew up yeah then london right on a flight at 55 into london's 50 minutes
damsterdam right but we did this like it bought like uh overnight uh like whatever it's called
the the fucking scandinavia or whatever it's get like furry and it's got nightclubs and it's
got the fucking saunas and the bowling alley and so you know what i mean it's like a little hotel
right it's cheap as fuck anyway we went uh it was one time we were going over on the boat on the
weekend normally you'd leave work friday about 4 p.m all right and you'd literally like the furry
left at half past five so you just like drive straight from work straight the ferries you know
15 minutes up the road jump on bam all the boys are wearing or whatever you know they were the
couples or whatever for the weekend anyway we were coming back on the sunday night so you like
you leave on the uh you leave on the friday right you sail overnight you arrive saturday morning
you'll stay saturday night in amsterdam like wherever if you've if you've booked a
package or you might have booked your own place wherever you stay right and then on the sunday
you come back and you jump on the five o'clock again same time you know it leaves england it
leaves amsterdam and it does the overnight thing and it arrives in the morning right
anyway we were coming back one time and uh if anybody know if anyone's been on a boat
right a proper like big like fucking cruise and fucking boat you know fucking thousands of people
on and casinos and all sorts of shit you'll know that like when you get outside and you get on the
deck they've got some pretty like big doors right right some pretty hefty fucking big doors to
like you know keep that outside shit in the oceans and that from you know getting anywhere
and you're inside anyway so you didn't fuck around like when you're getting like in and outside kind
of thing like anyone i've ever known ever has ever like gone outside on deck and like just been a
play and it was like fucking all fucking 10 11 o'clock at night we're going through that part of
the north sea where all the uh uh oil rigs are the north sea oil rigs and it's mad because
that fucking dot it like all over the place like that's crazy and you look like sail through the
middle of them anyway we were out there we'd been partying a bit we'd been inside actually
and we're being in a fucking this room with these birds with all day and fucking session it was
proper like you know great time nothing wrong and then we did like being outside uh on the
upper thing right and i just remember that door was heavy as fuck so like people were up there
you know those people got the toilet it was just your average like little fucking scenario whatever's
going on and then i'll tell you if this story doesn't end with i'm gonna be disappointed brought
with like i remember i just remember shouting in this bird's again it's talk racket nice like
blah blah blah right and then i just remember the fucking the scream like i've never heard before
this fucking bird it was it was windy as fuck as well it was really badly windy this like night
and the boat was rocking all over but this bird had come out and she'd fuck i don't know what she'd
done she'd like push the door open or something and then like i don't know what i don't know
what happened do like like name i'm gonna take say to me oh this is distinctly exactly like
what happened all i know is that like uh apart from my thumb all four fingers were
fucking chop off like literally the way so they were on the inside dude they were on the
oh the door got her ass but but wait they were on the i put their fingers were on the inside
of the ship right and the door it should you say and i got fingers no but everybody
like we were all outside on the like back of the ship so it was a little congregation away from
like anyone was really at the door and then everybody just looked around and there was
this bird screaming with like knee fingers fucking blood shooting all over the place
and everyone and there's knee fingers anywhere bro like only when fucking the door was opened
holy fuck so yeah we're the fingers you gotta get the fingers and reattach oh it was over
imagine like trying to wipe your ass without fingers so the medi factor i remember from that
night though the medi factor on a chopper uh and it was like holy but it was big shit now listen to
this he joined do you want a big kicker do you want a massive kicker this is yeah don't leave me
hanging giving me blue balls over here so we were all wiped out as fuck it was all like it all
happened and then and then we dispersed and then me yorkie uh fino i think two of the girls
who were proper fucked up proper fucked up our mates here we were in our little cabin
like if you've ever been in these little cabins like the mad as fuck like the bunk bed things
building the wall and shit like probably like but bro so we were in there and we were taken
a fuck ton away back to uk and then so we were like fucking we was like made a couple of little
bongs a couple of splits right and we were like chilling because you can you could always smoke
and because it was never a problem on the hamster i'm fairly smoking in the cabins and then what
happened is bang the knocks on the door we had like uh oh i'm gonna have to remember the
oh no ah there's a name ah the captain's gonna dude i'm gonna i forgot his name is the dude
that can lock you up every ship's got a place that can lock you up in here now by the way
people didn't know like every ship's got an area so this dude thought well these dudes they came
knocking on now listen to this how funny is this they came in they gave us like a bit of a quiz
like obviously like dutch whatever they gave us like this big quiz and blah blah but they were
like they were decent but so they were like right this is a situation like either we take
the weed from you know like the new the new at this point like it was it was a waste of time the
room was stinking the new this girl's fingers have been cut off i mean it was always getting
over right so yeah they took about i don't know it was about 1800 quid's worth of weed at the
time that we probably had about four and a half ounces between a couple of us and we were like
kept that across so like and that was like a text this is proper stuff like we got hit like
you know what the kind of laughed at us you know on the way out like this way that the text wasn't
going back to like anyone but them like we knew like the way that the kind of acted like after
the event oh yeah they wasn't checking that shit in that's paperwork truck that they're smoking
that shit exactly but that was a kind of mad story that one holy fuck that was mad that was
that was proper crazy about like i don't know what to say about that but let's see
ice tank yeah no that's that's great thank you uh for centuries rumors have abounded that abrogavany
sits on top of a huge underground network of tunnels that were once used by everyone from
owain glindwar to sex crazed monks over the years many what tunnels what tunnels repeat that for me
the ab abrogavany abrogavany network of tunnels here over the years what state is what state is
that in no fucking clue no idea over the years many amateur sleuths have attempted to prove if
the tunnels exist but to no avail until now semi-professional long-distance runner johnny turnip
no relation to johnny appleseed uh he believes he has found a portal to the hidden realms of
the town and it happened by accident he says quote i was trying to make contact with one of the fair
folk when it happened i know that may sound like the ramblings of lunatic and once i would have
agreed with you however after my encounter with a member of the twilight tag the other week on
top of the blow range i don't know what these words mean i'm one of the wide awake gang now
why do we go also known as wagon uh wide awake gang i know these mythical creatures are real and
if we had attempted to catch it instead of fleeing the scene and fright we could have been kings of
the world fairies i don't know if you guys know this or not fairies can grant wishes see where
fairies what would you say and now we know and now we know they're real we're going to capture one
and we're going to make it do our bidding what would you feel what if i caught one
no no what would you prefer that's genius that's genius what would you prefer are real right if
you have a choice of two what would you prefer would be real would it be either aliens or
oh he's got the co-host lag wait a minute guys he's got the co-host lag give me back i want to know
what would you prefer the aliens to be true or mythical creatures i'm going to go mythical
creatures all day long like i'm gonna fucks it oh am i here okay yes yes you're back
well see the question that's yeah yeah that's that's a pretty wide spectrum i mean are we talking
mythical creatures like fucking like minutel's foot minutel's yes everything yeah we talking
because that that i feel like we would fare better against aliens because i think if aliens were real
they would be so far away from us that by the time they got here like we would all be
dead and gone and dust in the wind it wouldn't matter but mythical creatures i mean does that
does that yeah we would be better there's there'd be rules bro there'd be rules magic right well
that's why i'm asking like if mythical creatures are real then does that also make real the weapons
to slay them because if not we're pretty fucked you know welcome welcome we have we have new speakers
new entries to the fmx the jam hall episode 829 for Finn daddy day care it's this very special episode
welcome red eye bear welcome tank tank how you're doing you're playing fuck right you okay
are you punishing your fucking gold or what to do and scrooge my god i'm making uh
what the hell are these things called hold on one second you guys are gonna love this i'm making
and heating up they are pancake sausages on a stick for my kids these things are the best
what are they push pon posh corn dogs or what are they push corn dogs yeah yeah
yeah it's freaking all in one dude it's pretty good do you know how old i was before i fucking
found out what corn dogs actually were and my my first experience with corn dogs is gonna wipe you
out see this is we're we're so stuck in crypto we're like worried about oh what does innovation
look like here in this digital space meanwhile people are putting sausages inside of pancakes
and they're i mean they're inserting syrup into the things we eat now it's so
level efficiency bro like they have skipped forward in evolution so far with this i absolutely
love it and i and i put it in a microwave i put it in a microwave to boot so can can
can a bridge can a bridge just like quickly talk about you know north western american
breakfast cuisine i mean i've been to america you know i went to ponderosa all you can eat
buffet you know i i've got a i've got a right to commentary you fucking are right dirty fucking
bastards when it comes to breakfast yes fucking have sweet and savory together in the same mouthful
i can't even imagine like the fucking smell of mixing the two like hey it's breakfast i like
some i'll have some cereal i let that digest bit of milk you know bit of fucking corn whatever
and then i might have some fucking baked fucking savory shit i might have some bacon something
huge just like let's get some pancakes uh let's get bacon because we need salt and
all we need maple syrup or fucking beer i mean i don't know what to say about you
the best thing right now is that i can fucking doordash from the international house of pancakes
cheesecake pancakes scrambled eggs bacon and a goddamn lemon meringue pie my life and i don't
gotta fucking leave my fucking this is the fucking future my life is over you know they only do that
because there's demand for it fin someone had to ask for this it's like fuck it we're serving
cream cheese we all asked for it we all so the funniest story i ever had though like from fin was
about wendy's i mean i didn't even believe like the room was about wendy's until like fin confirmed
it was true and he was just like oh bro like i feel like i need to come to america once like i
told me bucket list is it crazy to put wendy's on your bucket list i'm uh i'll tell you what you
come if you come here i'll take you to the last blockbuster video in existence in bend organ
if you want to live you want to get a fucking gun out the window we'll fucking fly down the highway
shooting guns at signs of minutes there and we won't be kind of we won't rewind that shit you
know what whatever you want baby you come down visit you say let's go to blockbuster
wait a minute are you wait a minute because this is like this is really intriguing and interesting
are you shitting me that there's a blockbuster franchise that actually eventually was able to
fucking steal there's one there's one blockbuster in the united states of these beautiful united
i can't tell you that i can't tell you that okay look from look from portland organ to bend
organ that that's about the distance i don't live in portland but it's close enough
and we've you know what it would be like normal if you did live there
would be like all right okay so the cup I would I would blow my fucking brains out if i lived in
portland i'll tell you what that place is fucking raw no thank you fin you sent me a video of the
police on unicycles juggling riding past yeah that's the fun that's the fun part of portland
that's not even the part of portland where as soon as you fucking shut your car door windows
shatter and you turn around and look and there's like some fucking crackhead hanging out the
fucking door like trying to grab change and shit now fuck that are you talking about
i'll kill somebody before that happens no i'm sure it's bad in other places as well it just
organ for whatever reason probably because of the legalized fentanyl and everything like
just fucking went off man they showed up i made i made a video on the way down in my beach house
i'm telling you guys right now if you guys are anywhere in the south and you guys go to the
historic town of montgomery alabama fucking just skip right past that place dude just just
speed hit people it doesn't matter you do not want to go through there
so bro you know you know we were talking about this the other week when top gear
did that journey and then they did the spray paint on the car and they drove through fucking
where you're talking about in alabama right and the hard like jesus is getting everything
like spray painted on the cars and that's all like richard humming spray paint like jeremy clarkson's
car clarkson spray paint like uh james mayes car you know like beads did and it was like the most
of spent holy fuck brotherhood it's so bad it's literally i forget what the exit is but when you
get off of 65 south and you go to that exit you immediately smell like you're driving through a
sewer like it's just it's you might as well just shit on yourself rub it all over and say you're
freaking from montgomery it no that's just and in the summertime like the oh yeah there's a couple
spots that we go by on the way to the false course and like you on certain days man you catch
that whiff and i swear it like hangs out in the car it's like in the back seat putting its seat
belt on asking are we there yet just thinking oh so bad is that is that whole belt the whole belt
though what is it because it's like uh new web new orleans it's it's like uh what alabama louisiana though
like it's the whole thing is probably the bible belt otherwise the bible oh my god didn't you know
the ball you know what's crazy about the dust bowl i actually read a thing on uh harry harry
komak uh senior you know you know harry komak senior harry komak senior though like his father like the
biggest benders the year i think me and tampa were talking about their bendy years the other day
it's like the biggest bendy year in american history like literally the wrongful conviction
rate was like more than double like the national average like they basically were just like sending
people their death row instead of their like not i'm gonna say friends but people their
friends were like protect like that whole like south even though you might call the bible belt
and they might think the fucking bible bash and christians are all bent as fuck down there
like people just disappear down there right no problem oh you don't gotta tell me dude
it's freaking putt i have to say even driving through florida but in the day uh after naph
can you just remember this when the with the british couple were fucking like uh assassinated
by like the young kid he was only like 14 so this would have been uh so uh september 1993 right
was when i was there and it was like the month before or like six weeks before so like
around about uh you know summer kind of like 1993 like uh like the florida was booming you've got
to think like travel back and then days wasn't like what it is now like you know before then
we were going to spin we started opening like direct flights from like you know manchester and
places i remember like the first one of the first like direct flights from manchester to
we i'll tell you where we had to fly we flew to bangor min it's called bangor main in canada right
and then we flew from bangor main down to florida that's how you cross the atlantic because
they have this thing with flights where you try not to fly over uh sea as much as possible
so with anything if anyone knows anything about any flight plan on earth the number one thing about
the flight plan is that uh you go over land as much as you can even if it's like a slight diversion
kind of thing so when you fly out in northern england you fly open over green land and i remember
going to bangor main i remember going down to florida but just before we went some british
couple on holiday normal you know on i-95 some 14 year old kid with a gun come up bang that robbed them
like oh yeah bro that was lovely like before we jumped on the plane like but uh america i've
only been once i've only been once so i i'm by then i'll teach american history but it's uh
hmm i don't know fellas i don't know i don't know what i say like i don't know what to make
well take a look i uh i i posted it up in the nest there if you go to bendblockbuster.com
bask in all of this glory right here for you you're welcome thin of the reversed any of the
shit going on like in uh up there in seattle up uh i'm sorry what shouldn't stay at all poland
or anything like i was still like all mad out like can't take any drool can't day what the
folk you like are the film mad cunts or other reindeer oh baby there's always going to be mad cunts
mad cunts are everywhere that's just it's just the nature of the beast uh speaking of mad cunts
selena severe county a colorado man was arrested in utah after police say he traveled to california
to pick up a 10 year old girl he met on social media so that he could allegedly okay saying he
did not say he didn't allegedly marry her so there you go mary joshua marry her yeah i i mean you know
i mean student religions you know i i don't want to judge okay i'm i'm just here to present
the stories and uh let people make up their own lines
how do you feel about sciontology how do you feel about sciontology they're a bunch of
fucking nutters huh they're a bunch of crazy but i will say respect any group that can go bully
the irs i mean you know like that they they got some they got some power there what what
fucking complete nuts wait a minute what's what's what's what's sciontology's greatest achievement
that's a good question for you from cruz it's simple no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
completely making up a religion based around a science fiction story and then getting their
tax-free status like bullying the irs that's their greatest you know getting the program you know
getting the point bro uh wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute i would say hold on hold on
hold on i just thought of something oh tank right you're gonna have to wait and you can come
straight after me bro i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i think you know this is what this is
the jam hole i'm gonna send you to everyone and i'm gonna say tank tank you go ahead
this is important this is life-changing for all of us you just you you just you're my
Scientology you're my fucking god now um why the hell don't crypto bros just make up a religion
for crypto we call it cryptologian and then we get tax breaks because all of this a couple have
actually tried i believe we reported on this a couple of episodes ago uh and the irs is and
the scc is is looking into them currently so oh my god though so i'll call this i'll call this
Scientology's greatest gift to the world is the hacker collective that we know as anonymous
oh greatest gift okay you can get the angle same thing missed wait yeah it's five it's six in the
morning all right you gotta lay it on a little thicker than that friend so without Scientology
we might not have like anonymous and what anonymous became from what it was so like pre-Scientology
anonymous was like fucking nothing post like what happened and the situation i mean it became
what it did and then there are obviously a lot of other caveats to add on that but i
i know i think that was paid a bit though i i feel like if not Scientology eventually somebody
else would have and anonymous i mean that i guess they made their name with with that but i feel
like they were doing other stuff as well don't ask me a name exam well it was born it was born
out of it yeah it was no it was born out of it it was born out of a lot of i mean listen
the whole thing with anonymous is the whole thing with fortune it's the whole thing with occupy
wall street it's the whole thing like yeah there's must have magnitude no no but there's
also like splinters within there one of the biggest things it obviously is the occupy wall
right and then the infighting that happened let me tell you what anonymous really was okay
anonymous was the government's attempt at recruiting computer hackers okay that's what
anonymous was and it's what do you mean i thought it was just a bunch of board hackers who just
wanted to hack into the government because they had nothing else to do also also that
it's a lot more like 14 years old when he first started working for anonymous and doing stuff
ah but wait there's another sheet of brown chris welcome welcome welcome well chris is
anonymous 1.0 and it's anonymous 2.0 and they are very inherently different things
and it's like like you might people might be on the surface with like anonymous or not
but if you're really have dug deep and you are not like proper the history great i'm gonna have
a convo but like there's a there's a really two-fold convo about the original fortune
migration and it's like but you know a bunch of plebs doing de deus uh or de deus attacks etc
and to worry about this religion thing it's going to be faith 2.0 my religious status and i'm never
getting taxed again fuck all these people dude i'm fucking doing it right well they already did
the flying spaghetti monster you could become a pasta for you and you could wear uh i am i got
my certificate and everything who wants to get married is a bearded fucking bird and and all
this shit these days i'm fucking i swear to god i better not get taxed for my religious beliefs
in crypto fucking faith 2.0 baby right i mean we some of us be losing money religiously so let's
just say you know right we're sorry go ahead we're 55 minutes in chris one second we're 55
minutes in guys we are not doing a little room reset but we're doing a little room reset a little
cheeky one all right uh we are doing a rat fm uh extra jam hall ap fucking a2 nine or uh bed law
you should go back in uh tie if you're speaking tie like i'm i'm say multi fucking lingual uh
cunnilingual i mean i'm fucking i'm all over at me right we're reset in the room uh fin the jam hall
eight 28 was class we had the baboons with fucking meat clavers attacking their handlers blah blah blah
i missed a little bit uh did you touch on the lady boy do you like how do you like how i took a
video that you sent me a little like eight second loop and i turned it into 25 minutes of fucking
nonsense content robo i i learned something you mentioned lady boys there in it uh
it brought up something i learned did you know that statistically thailand has the the smallest dick
size on average he said you know he said you know did you know good job good job i'm not from
fucking thailand isn't it for good job i live here i know like i'm wondering have you noticed
this in your daily observations as well dude me fucking dick was bigger than me for the next wife
head out of all the dicks you come mentioned the lady boys i don't know on a day-to-day basis
what's the average dick size you would say that you're you're handling there you're going to get
on the daily in the morning how big like on your morning walker trek yeah what's the average you're
saying right okay so we were talking and thank you red eye for bringing it back to the real
so like how tall are these how tall are these uh ties is what the real child nah bro the like seriously
nah all the fucking volleyball players are not over here they're all mixed race men i'm telling
you every single one of the type fucking volleyball the women's volleyball table really good
like proper fucking good they're all fucking off braids one uh they've got to be similar to
like the like i'm used to like filipinos i grew up next to filipinos my whole life they're fucking
short like compared to me i'm my my missus was five six and bigger than our father and bigger
than everyone else in the family like yeah yeah so they got a fucking 10 inch dong and shit like
when they're only four feet tall yeah they're just dragging it like a snail just like they're
posting up their bike on the kickstand and shit dude that's not happening have you seen have you
seen what was it dumb jolly back in the day when the snail goes over the traffic lights in the
street oh my god that was so cool anyone saying that like the fake fucking like you know the
humans inside this nail costume and he goes across the book and zebra crossing oh my god
that's what it reminds me of can i give you an update you were mentioning episode 828 and uh
ben was back it's been the first episode he's been back in a minute and we have that story
about people selling feet pics and uh he must not have because he hit me up yesterday and he said
he got an eviction notice and i was like how the fuck did you you how what the fuck he's like i've
been working so hard and i still can't pay the rent i'm like motherfucker you've got some work
smarter not harder if you keep doing the same thing and you're not making those bills money
man like what do you think's gonna happen the bill things they got nice feet i think
they got nice feet i don't think so but he gets the eviction notice that he's all surprised
i'm like how how could you not expect that like how when people when people act surprised
i got another fucking kid yeah dude when people get like eviction notices or like any kind of
notice and they're like i'm like get the fuck out of here dude you fucking knew that shit was
coming from a mall like you know yeah yeah unless you're like you're being extorted or
some bullshit like if if you're paying the rent and the landlord's like not paying the rent with
it or some shit i don't know i told him to just i told him just claim squatters rights
and fucking keep door dashing and maybe you'll get a raise i don't know do you see that fucking
story of that chick in new york trying to get those squatters out of her house and then she
got arrested for changing the fucking locks no that those squatters are fucking no joke there
was several episodes where like so there were stories about that shit like taking over property
house home like not being a fuck yeah it gets your license changed so that your address is at
that house that you don't even own i don't even do it makes it even a nice house you just walk by
every day like i think i'm gonna this is gonna be the house and you got fucking like some kind of
like you know lights or electricity and shit like that you can't even turn it off even if it's in
your name you can't turn it off if they're fucking there it's insane it's only popular in america
though now this shit has been going on in england like hardcore since like like early like say late
60s right so you know the you know the generation you know the 69 generation blah blah blah
everybody knows one talk summer love etc etc rewards talk blah blah back in england in london
they were just doing this and literally they were like created like mad like communes like just like
the bye bye and now the laws in england are so fucked people have got like multi-million dollar
homes that they can't even get access to england's fucked for this like i don't know what your laws
i like to use something right now though anybody squats in my any one of my properties
i will fuck you up there will be no stand your ground for sure it'll be stand your ground all over
this fucking driveway no fucks given like no one will even know what the fuck you're mumbling
to the police after i'm done with your ass there there'll be no fucking police report dude dude
you're talking with i think vince talking about do you know what happened to me when i was a
kid though when i went to jail like when i went to jail nothing good fine then i would what
happened was is that my gaff right which i was like renting from the council yeah what happened
was is that like they just kept like still charging me rent for like six fucking months
while i was in prison and then like when i came out they just hit me with this like massive bill
fucking i was just like what guess how long i took to go it took me any moment like fighting in
the courts and everything two fucking years two years to fucking quash the shit that's ridiculous
you're supposed to write letters to these utility companies to let them know
they that's what they expect you to do yeah well you don't have money on your books you can't
order stamps you're in prison you know if you don't have time you can't go use the fucking
phone to call them and you don't have a dictionary or fucking like computer to look up
the damn right i couldn't tell you what the fuck my damn uh utility bill phone number is
if i could fucking how the fuck are you supposed to tell them that you're in jail
tank do you know what's really sad right now i'm gonna tell you is all now you know it's really
sad and i've got away from it i kind of be asked to even talk about here that shit this
is how i've got no facebook whatever is like the old people and that man in england and that
they're like dying in their houses because they kind of pay their bills like their energy bills
can i just say to people like are we trying to kill off all people making energy bills that
expensive these days because like man my home is well off but not in england i'll tell you what
i'll tell you what dude i've actually had these morbid thoughts before i don't know hopefully i'm
not the only one that has these weird fucking thoughts but like i don't you know how people
like love their homes they're like i want to die in my home i fuck all that dude i want to die
out there in the world in the woods motherfucker dude i want to be like in walmart walking in and
making a scene when i i want everybody to circle around me and see me die they do not die alone
talented generally what i said what was that show where the dude like goes and just like sits
down at his news desk and just blows his fucking head what the fuck was that network or
i can't remember the name of it but he yeah he just like walks into work or something or into a
trial maybe and he just puts the gun in his mouth and just suicide i just i just don't
want my death to be like oh you peace he passed peacefully alone in his house that he loved
all by himself that's what he wanted like fuck that i want people to remember me
in terror and or amazement of the way that i died i want to be walking into walmart
fucking yeah dude i want people to go i want i want little children to go what happened to that guy
and it be stuck in their brain for the fucking rest of their life i'm like remember when i was five
techniques a kill dozer yeah yeah yeah so if i can get a if i can get a word and edge with this
what i said the b band's about two weeks ago i wish she was here she must be busy two three weeks
ago i was like okay when it's time i'm just gonna fucking go and get a regular track ferrari
and pour it into a wallet like 250 miles oh yeah that was a good chat yeah
no no i was like seriously like i'm not gone out like a pleb cunt like fucking what i'm saying
then i asked you i asked you if we could just thelma and louise that shit off a cliff and then
you got like all pussy made bitch maiden like he's like i'm afraid of heights like fool you're dying
who cares yeah but before we wrap this up for the jam hole you guys start another space after this if
you want but i gotta keep these a certain life the the other thing we talked about on the last
episode was that bowing dude who fucking quote unquote offed himself but like did he really
so do you guys wait time right or is that just me thinking it's crazy we had turned out of space a
couple of days ago and i think uh tented that was at your space or seffy's where i mentioned the
bone thing bro i tried to record that one and it disappeared i'm really sorry i fucking i fumbled
that bag i fumbled that bag hard homie so so basically cold fusion i mean that you know it's
a great youtube channel right like we've got your name up and say anything whatever you want to say
about cold fusion on the money but the fact he did the like uh last week and then this week
or was it just like they just gone laughing like i'm you know i'm ahead dude the fact he's done
like two episodes on bone within the same week and like he did the interview with like the
the judge guy the the pilot who does the he's got the biggest youtube channel on fucking air
safety and crashes dude there's so much going on with this bone shit i don't even know if we're
actually going to find out about it i mean we will end because it is a jam all things gonna like spin
it up as the jam all i'm so proud great stuff but we'll spin about unrecorded we will talk about
other shit but this bone shit dude rooms fucking like this is are you are you saying bone
like a bone boy boy she don't eat meat but she sure likes a bone boy mama okay oh yeah i'm just
better joined i've actually got the roach of a peanut butter fucking cookie junk in me hand
and i'm like high back hey thank you thank you thank everybody thanks for listening email info
at the jamhole.com the jamhole.com that's the website check it out voicemail line for you
four oh six two oh four four six eight seven leave us a message we'll play it on the show
and uh yeah peace out y'all we'll catch you next time love y'all